It's been eight days since we received our diagnosis, but it feels like an eternity. I can't remember what it felt like to think I was pregnant with a healthy baby who would live past birth. Maybe I always knew? I think I did.
Mom and Samuel left today to go back home and John goes back to work tonight. Everyone is worried about leaving me home alone, but I think I will be okay. I just wish my family was closer, but I'm glad that Mom and Samuel were here and were able to stay longer than they had planned to be with me. They have been a tremendous comfort to us!
We had a bit of a scare yesterday. I had not felt Denali move at all since Sunday. Dr. O had said she would stop moving eventually, but it didn't feel right that she would stop moving so abruptly. I had to go to the clinic anyway to have some labs drawn, so, we also asked to listen to her heart. The nurse took us back and tried to locate her heart with the doppler. After about 5 minutes, she gave up and said she was going to call the on-call OB. I truly did not feel like Denali had died, and I wasn't really all that worried. The nurse asked me where I normally felt her moving and I showed her. She put the wand in that spot and there was her little heart just beating away! John and I both started smiling. The nurse was so kind and told us we could listen for as long as we wanted. I could listen forever! The nurse also said that we could start coming in for weekly listens or we could just stop by whenever we wanted to. I think I would like to start coming in once a week since it's just nice to listen to proof that she's alive in there!
When we left the clinic, Denali started wiggling around. It felt like she was rolling in there! I was like, "Okay, scare us to death and then start moving. Thanks!" She hasn't moved all that much since, though. She moved a little last night and I started crying for the first time in a few days. I love her so much and I'm so happy that she's alive but I'm also sad that this is all of the time that I will get with her.
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