15 Weeks

 Hello, Hair! My hair is back, and it's better than ever! It's been so disgusting and oily for the past few weeks, but this week, it's back to its normal, shiny, wavy appearance! Hooray!  Also,  new this week, I've been able to work all day, not take a nap and go to the gym and feel relatively okay! My energy is finally returning, I think! Granted, I'm not working out at anywhere near my pre-pregnancy intensity, but it's a start!



Proof that I was at the gym. Or, at least the gym's bathroom

    It's interesting that for the first time in my life, food and exercise isn't all about my weight! Last night when I went to the gym, I was initially bummed by how few calories I burned. But then I realized, the baby needs those calories and I'm just trying to make myself stronger and healthier, not thinner. It was kinda nice to leave the gym without feeling guilty. I also caught a glimpse of myself in a shop window and noticed that my belly has gotten a little bigger. I wasn't upset- it didn't spoil my day! These experiences have made me realize just how much time I spend obsessing and feeling bad about food, exercise and my weight! It's ridiculous, really. Such a waste. Hopefully, I can apply those realizations to my post-pregnancy life, but I'm sure I will go right back to obsessing once I deliver.
   I noticed this weekend that I've started using pregnancy as an excuse to be a total shlumpadinka. I'm really a total schlumpadinka at heart anyway, but I do try to supress it. Sunday, I went out shopping dressed in ratty flip-flops, and my equally ratty gym clothes. I didn't have any makeup on and my hair was, well, appalling. My mother, on the other hand, had on a chic dress, hair done up nicely and makeup. Terrible. I'm not going to go all Pregnant in Heels or anything, but I feel like I should at least put in a little effort! I guess part of the problem is that my wardrobe is rather limited right now. There's nowhere to buy maternity clothes around here at all! I just need to make another trip to Motherhood and some other stores once I get back to Anchorage next week. Maybe I'll call Oprah, too.
 I'm almost out of Zofran.  My next OB appointment isn't until next Monday and I don't know what to do until then! I'm trying to conserve the little bit that I have, so, I didn't take any on Sunday and Monday. Sunday I was mostly okay, my stomach just hurt a little. But Monday, the nauseau came back full-blown! Awful! I thought it would be gone or at least better by now, but no luck, I guess. I will probably be one of those lucky women who has morning sickness throughout her pregnancy!
  Ah! So much to think about! Coordinating maternity and paternity leave with John, figuring out how I'm going to take care of a baby by myself while also being an intern...It's overwhelming! It will all work out, I know that, but it's trying to get it all together that is so stressful!